ipod

my ipod is 21.24% the donnas

i just downloaded sweet caroline by neil diamond

'sweett caarroolliinnee, bah bah'

i guess that's all for now

whatever! u know u want one

i go around singing this way too much


coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but i turn him on and he comes to life
automatic joy
that is why i want a coin operated boy

made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend....

coin operated boy
all the other real ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll
never let him go and i'll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy......

this bridge was written to make you feel smittener
with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
i didnt think so but im still convinceable
will you persist even after i bet you
a billion dollars that i'll never love you
will you persist even after i kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
i'm dying to lose it...
i want it
i want you
i want a coin operated boy.

and if i had a star to wish on
for my life i cant imagine
any flesh and blood could be his match
i can even take him in the bath

coin operated boy
he may not be real experienced with girls
but i know he feels like a boy should feel
isnt that the point that is why i want a
coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that hes thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want
a coin operated boy.

damn

i wish i didn't just remember that i have a half empty bag of doritos rollitos (nacho cheesier) in my desk.

11am update: now there is a empty bag of doritos rollitos (nacho cheesier) in my trash can.

11:16am office cake update: half of a coconut cream cake was gone by 10:40 - no lie

listie friday

good morning all! last night i realized that i have dedicated myself to 20 hours of tv programming per week! that is a part time job, i think maybe i need some re-evaluation time

things that suck:
1. magicians - they are all dramatic and retarded for no good reason, like i really believe they pulled a quarter out of my ear - i am so sure (i do love gob though) - plus two word: david blaine

2. whistling - it just really pisses me off

3. when i don't have my coffeemate

4. hurting someone's feelings

things that rock:
1. bossless fridays

2. my new old navy jean jacket

3. all of my donnas cds

4. hanging out with my sister

picture me rollin'

look how pimp i am - i had to go and add the link sections to my template and i did it all myself

p.s. did you ever google something and then is said 'Did you mean kiss my ass'? i want a button that says 'NO!'

here we go. . .

i have had a myriad of facial spasms this morning. first my left nostril then my right eye. they have been taking turns but at one point they were going at the same time.

i guess that is what i get for being so hateful, or as my mom would say 'that is where the meanness is coming out'

'duh, it's like a famous quote'

i am having the worst bathroom occupancy luck today! i have attempted to use the ladies room 3 times this morning and each time someone else was in there forcing me to backtrack past my desk and use bathroom further away.

in addition - it raining today - why, as soon as it rains, do people completely forget all of their driving skills revert back to driver's ed class? it has rained before folks, and it's just water - let's see if we can keep our wits about us for next time, ok? thank you in advance.

waiting. . .

i am so bored, i have nothing to do. i am in a holding pattern with 3 projects but i have nothing to do until i hear back from people. this is going to be a long day and for some reason i swear it is thursday. it is nice outside again today (i am afraid i have become one of those people that likes nice weather - i hate those people).

my favorite weather is thunderstorms on saturdays when i have no place to be and i can watch movies all day - or college football, those are the best!

what kind of special breed of loser am i anyhow?

i am super sleepy today - we went out for a co-workers birthday last night. i should not be allowed to drink - i always blab on and on about stupid crap.

i am going to email susan now, she is having a baby and i have not heard from her in a while.

just for fun

test your iq

i got 9 out of 11

click on test

ho hum

no one ever comments

my horoscope from msn.com:
Perhaps you are afraid to change because this will disrupt the relationships you are involved with, dear Cancer. Don't let this thought stop you from pursuing your personal growth and evolution. Why maintain a relationship when you aren't behaving as your true self in it? Perhaps you are fond of the status quo simply because you fear the unknown. As hard as it may seem, it is important for you to dig your feelings out from the basement, and adjust your actions accordingly.

my reaction = damn

my name isn't fucking warren

well, it is tuesday afternoon at 4:36 and i am uber bored. i was feeling very nervous earlier today but that has slipped by. but my big toe on my right foot is hurting, which totally sucks.

katie is not responding to my emails - she will probably say she is 'busy' but i have serious doubts.

no one every updates - i visit my daily reads 3 to 4 times a day and they are hardly every updated - i should link some of them.

gone to link things - catch you tomorrow.

stop calling me warren

so i went out to run errands at lunch and it is super extra nice out there - and i never say shit like that but i really needed some sunshine today

as i was truckin' on down the road i noticed a spot on my sunglasses which i promptly tried to remove with my shirt - that didn't work. so i rubbed harder, nothing. so for some ungodly reason i licked them! i licked them! who the hell does that? i do apparently, just a little advice for everyone: sunglass lenses taste fierce.

so i went to harry's today and found gnocchi - i cannot begin to tell you how excited i am about that - i've been having fantasies about them ever since.

behaving update: apparently she was kidding, sometimes i am slow and don't catch onto jokes.

'that's how they get 'cha, they're under the god damn ground'

you know it is bad when you are stopped in the hall by the human resources manager and asked if you are going to behave at the after-hours work gathering - and she is not kidding.

awesome

that will make you think twice. so, tonight ought to be fun.

i woke up this morning with the feeling that i am going to get in trouble today. i don't know why, i haven't done anything - i just feel like my boss is going to yell at me. that is not a pleasant feeling but it will keep you from goofing off.

guess what???!!! there is cake in the lunch room again! who's surprised?

my hair is on the crunchy side today - can't seem to get the right amount of product on the hair in the morning.

'the live ones smell worse than the dead ones' (said with a hick accent)

traffic hella sucked this morning, not a good way to start a tuesday

overheard at old time pottery: 'never say goodbye' by bon jovi

also overheard at old time pottery: anna singing the aforementioned bon jovi song

i am rocking me some bon jovi today

consider it stepped on

the other day i bought myself a 30 min ab dvd by victoria johnson. 'ab lab' is the title of it. tonight i popped it in and began the workout. Approximately 20 mins in we are lying on our backs doing chest presses with weights and miss johnson says ". . . make sure to keep the weights at nipple level."

"nipple level??? did she just say nipple? yes, yes she did - did i inadvertently buy a workout porn?"

who says nipple level during a workout? god that freaked me out - i am right in the middle of flattening my abs and then all i can think about is nipples. am i the only one to find that bizarre? i guess that explains why it was only $1.

anyway i forgot to tell you about the guy at publix. i am standing in the floral department and a customer at the counter asks me to spell 'perseverance'. what kind of floral arrangement does that go with??

monday afternoon

license plate seen at lunch - "square dancers are happy people" - are they? are they really?

i have heard the pina colada song 4 times in the past week - as my sister, katie would say - that is just all kinds of wrong.

p.s. i feel like i may throw up

sounds like someone has the case of the mondays :(

god, i swear i do something retarded at least once a day. i was removing a program from my computer and then for some reason i decided to reomve microsoft office too - good one anna! i guess that is what i get from calling one of our managers an idiot. anyway, it has been reinstalled and all is well.

this weekend was rather quiet. a group of us went out to dinner friday night where several of the attendees proceeded to get very drunk - s'up c-squared and red hot! it was quite the evening. i layed around saturday and went shopping on sunday. i was looking for a birthday gift for a co-worker but ended up buying myself shoes instead. that's about right.

my friend june had her baby friday - a little girl! congratulations june and erik!!!

i have been doing a lot of soul searching lately about my life and i have come to no conclusions yet. . .

this post was pretty lame - sorry.

friday +

my sister hella never answers her work phone

she is so not raising the bar

my doctor said cram-it-all

well, it's friday finally. i have no plans for the weekend - that's how awesome i am.

so i guess, sidegrade?

thursday +

my best work friend, jill, just told me she is as busy as 400 motherfuckers.

that's the thing about a hide-a-key

i beg of you, how did this happen. . .

1985 by Bowling for Soup

"Where's the mini-skirt made of snakeskin? And who's the other guy that's singing in Van Halen? When did reality become T.V.? What ever happened to sitcoms, game shows?" You took the bitter with the sweet in 2004 - and kept laughing.

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

i have, apparently, been hired under false pretenses - i was under the impression that the company i work for printed billboards. well i was way off - we apparently come to work everyday to see how much cake one person can consume in an 8 hour period. there is always, ALWAYS, cake in the kitchen area. i have no idea where it comes from or who even eats it, but the people in my office are all obsessed with cake!

they eat it for breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, after lunch snack my point is ALL FUCKING DAY!

it's not just cake either, people will bring their leftovers from lunch, dump them on the table and they will be gone by 4pm. i am talking chips and salsa, dinner rolls, chex mix, gum - anything and everything. as soon as it hits the table everyone runs out of their offices to inhale whatever has been left for them.

is it because it is free? is it a race to see who can eat the leftovers first? are they just bored? what is it?

MOVE!!!

i have noticed lately that i will drive exactly as fast as the person in front of me will let me go. yes, that's right - if no one is in front of me i will floor it until i catch up to someone. why am i in such a hurry? and more importantly - why aren't people more interested in getting where they are going?

lately i have started doing something disturbing - i have started touching people, not inappropriately or anything. shoulders, hands, arms - anna, STOP IT!!!

last night i went out to dinner with some friends and the restaurant had the best title for a dessert ever! chocolate dish 2005 - isn't that great! it sounds like it deserves it's own announcer.

librarians don't lie

so one day my dear mother asks me to return an overdue book to our local library - she gives me a $20 to complete this errand. i drive over to our local library and go inside. i inform the librarian on duty that my book is late and i would like to pay the late fee. she scans (notice i said "scans") the book and informs me that the book is not overdue but there is another book that is overdue. she also informs me that from now on you can put the overdue books in the drop box and pay the fee next time you check something out. i tell the librarian that i will have to find the real overdue book and come back.

i get back in my car and call my mother and the conversation proceeds as follows:

anna: mom, that book isn't overdue
mom: yes it is, it was due on the 6th
anna: that is not what the librarian said, she said a different book was overdue
mom: that is not right, what book did she say was overdue?
anna: (i tell her the title - which i escapes me right now)
mom: no it isn't (getting noticeably irritated)
anna: (laughing) well, what do you want me to do? when she scanned it, she said it wasn't overdue
mom: what name did she type in?
anna: she didn't, she SCANNED the book, she didn't make up some magical name and decide something else was overdue
mom: well, that isn't right (getting more irritated)
anna: she also said you can put the overdue books in the drop box and pay next time
mom: well, i'm not doing that - what name did she put in?
anna: SHE DIDN'T - SHE SCANNED THE BOOK (laughing harder)
mom: anna, are you lying?
anna: no (still laughing)
mom: why are you laughing?
anna: because you are pissed off at the library
mom: this is so irritating, did you tell them?
anna: tell them what?
mom: that they are wrong?
anna: NO (about to wreck my car), librarians don't lie - what do you want me to do about it?
mom: well, i will just have to go up there - i have to go, bye
anna: bye library hater
mom: anna!
anna: bye mom

long story short, thanks for the $20 library hater!

see we plan ahead, that way we don't do anything right now

earl explained it to me.

my sister and i are three years apart and look nothing alike but have been asked (3 times in one week) if we were twins. we are, in fact, not twins but we have the "twinspeak" thing going on. the other night ashley said "sometimes i think they have their own language" - sidegrade.

anyway, why is it you can go weeks without people calling you and you are trying to get in touch with them to hang out or something and they blow you off. and then all of the sudden you have a day you are in a bad mood and don't want to talk to anyone and then all of the sudden everyone is your best friend and stuck up your ass! i am having that kind of past three days.

overheard saturday night at ashleys "just the right boob is furry"

ashley = too much information giver

gaby and maria want me to go to old navy at lunch today but i really need to go to harry's

kelly wants to go to dinner tonight - valentine's day. she wants to go to dinner on valentine's day - is she crazy there will only be around 11 million people trying to go out, i don't think she thought this one through, plus she has a boyfriend.

kelly = unclear thinker

well, i ended up going to old navy and spent $66 bucks - that's about right

anna = impluse buyer

ok, i just downloaded the new jt and snoop dogg song - i know, i know, i have no idea what is wrong with me but i love it!

i am having bunko at my house this month and we are out 2 girls! what will i do?

friday (i know the title is super creative so no need to comment on it)

my sister katie told me to update my blog and i told her not to boss me! except that i am doing it - oh well. i don't know why she doesn't do her own blog - it would totally rock! katie = hi-lar-i-ous

if she knew that i have the worst hangover ever, she wouldn't harass me. last night i went to dinner with some work folks and got into a drinking contest with my friend donnie - i have no idea why. we were later joined by our friend tim where we proceeded to stay up until like 3am drinking - i have no idea why. and now i am super tired and have a massive headache - i didn't puke though so +200 points for me!

tim has a final today - good luck!

i think i shall write more later - i am to sluggish to continue right now

good ol' mom

my mother likes to play her own version of the name game - whenever she sees an unusual name (and either my sister or myself are nearby) she then says i could have named you ___. and then she says the new name with our last name ___ beagle - and then she cracks herself up laughing. this was approximately 14% amusing the first time she did it, however it loses 640 points each time she does it.

ugh balls

the other night we went out for my friend ashley's birthday - she just turned 26 - yea ashley!!! anyway, we ate thai food and went to listen to a live band. at the bar jennifer ordered a crown and coke. just a regular crown and coke, except in her drink she received 9 (yep NINE) pieces of lime, so my question is - exactly how many pieces of lime do you need in one crown and coke?

the opening guy was ok, he was cute but in desperate need of a new pair of jeans - he was missing the material from his entire right knee. please, someone tip this poor guy! so then the band came on and they were pretty good, except there was a constant rotation of guitar players and drummers and there was one fiddle player (whom ashley was in love with). jimmy the fiddle player - ashley commented that she liked his jeans, she liked the cut, color and the ankles. the ankles? so i said she just liked them down around his ankles (aren't i clever?)

anyway, there was this one guy who quickly was nicknamed the bad clapper. this poor boy had no rhythm - i am not claiming in any way that i can dance but dang he was bad. and entirely too concerned that the band get drunk - he kept buying drinks and giving them to the rotating band members. i just found that very odd (but then again i am weird).

up on the wall above the band was a bumper sticker that read "ugh balls" i really wish i knew what that meant.

so, that was ashley's birthday - cheers to the bad clapper.

nick o.

saturday night katie and i had ourselves a sibling night. we went to mama fu's for dinner where i ended up with one defective chop stick and then proceeded to eat my food with the wrong end of the chop sticks - can i please go one day without being retarded in some form.

then we stopped by target to see if i could find the first season of the office but i couldn't. and i even asked someone! - i never ask, i don't really like talking to people. as we were leaving the security guard was talking to some woman on a bench and said "it was spanish gang bangers." i am very sorry to have missed whatever that was about.

next we went to see the wedding date where nick o. tore our ticket stubs and directed us to the right for our viewing pleasure. the movie was cute and i don't think i was retarded in the theater, but i could be wrong.

sunday night was the superbowl and i won $80 in our office pool - that makes me at least 73% more awesome than you. but now everyone wants to know where we are going to lunch - hands off! - i brought my lunch.

i should tell you that i almost won $160 and this woman in my office just came by my desk and asked me where i was taking her to lunch and then we chatted about how i almost won $160 and she told me not to be greedy, don't be greeedy?! how about you not be greedy!!! - WHAT THE FUCK?!

bobbin' along in a barrel

my favorite movie line of all time is "I am not under any orders to make the world a better place." but my second favorite is "Men make women messy." isn't that a great line? yea, it's just super duper - it gave me a reason and excuse not to let anyone close, to be a smartass about everything and leave me unsatisfied. i lived this way for most of my twenties and i think i am finally tired of it. but at the same time it is very hard to let go - i guess i just got used to it.

very recently, in a commercial for a movie, i heard "Every woman has the exact love life she wants." i didn't think much about it until i realized that i agree with it. so the question is - what am i so scared of?

i know exactly what the problem is, i watch entirely too much tv and too many movies and i guess i am looking for "hollywood" love, as we all are right? i just love unrequited love and teenage love (that is a blog for another day) and lovers that must overcome multiple obstacles in order to be with one another - i guess i just love the struggle, but why?

i have a friend that once told me that she wanted to see me happy and that i "deserved" to be in love. deserved? that word baffles my mind. what exactly have i done to deserve love? i just don't see how that could be.

i believe i deserve to stump my toe after making fun of my sister's sandwich ("it smells like burnt toast in here"). and i deserve to stay employed if i do my job but i am pretty sure i have not done anything in the love department (at least nothing i am aware of). is there some sort of checklist out there? have i managed to catagorily avoid all those tasks that lead to love for the past 28 years?

ok, now i am just getting bored with myself and i fear i have grown too whiney to have someone in my life. i think i should end this post right here.

i don't wanna flail

uughh - this blog sucks! i am feeling stressed lately - but i don't really know why. people are irritating me (more than usual). i don't feel like talking to any of my friends. i don't really know what that is about.

i used to do this thing where i would sit really still and barely breathe and see if time would slow down - but it never did, i guess i don't have those special time slowing down powers - bummer.

i love dashes for some reason - - - i find them fun - - - but only with spaces on either side - must - have - the - spaces.

i never cry at commercials - NEVER - but that one publix commercial with the little boy and his mom and he wants to bake a heart shaped cake and then he gives it to his mom - gets me everytime - fuckin' publix.

sometimes i write poems but they mostly suck.